​​Amanda Love Lyons
https://i-am-medicine.weebly.com
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I have recently been thinking about the human experience and how sometimes it can feel as though we have so many different feelings and views at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I have many different aspects or parts inside me all competing for attention. It is not the case that we are one faceted beings and if we are having conflicting feelings of anger , rage or shame it can sometimes lead to feeling afraid of some aspects of self and a need to cut off from or ‘demonise’ these parts. I understand these ‘demons’ not to actually be demonic. They have become so because we have been supressing our awareness of them and as the years go by, they take on a kind of ‘power’ and exhaust us by taking up all our prana or energy, by sabotaging our attempts, our relationships and our dreams.

However, these demons are not our enemy, they can’t be wished away or cut off or killed, they are an integral part of us that we have severed and as a result have taken reign of certain aspects of our lives. In therapy we call this the ‘child of history’ or the ‘adapted child’. At a young age through trauma or abuse, neglect, overly critical or dominant parenting, inconsistent parenting or simply not getting what we want, we create coping strategies in order to survive. There is nothing inherently ‘bad’ about these coping strategies, they helped us to survive. However, when we are grown up and not living with those situations anymore and the coping strategy has taken over our ability to choose what is good for us, we must apply some tools in order to be able to make the choices that will empower and serve us.

I have made headway through yoga, meditation and psychotherapy with my coping strategies.  However, I still have times when they get hold of the reigns and rise up, usually when there is some conflict or disappointment. Recently I entered a collection of my poems into a few competitions, I found out the other day that I had not been shortlisted for any of them. I felt rejected and I began to think ‘My poetry is not good enough’ and then I realised, I recognise this feeling coming from the powerful longing of my childhood to be seen and be praised and acknowledged. This feeling is a familiar one to me, having worked deeply with meditation and therapy. On recognising this and bringing awareness, I could soothe this part of me with understanding and hold a loving space for her, instead of allowing the feelings to engulf me and completely rubbish all my work and possibly rubbish other people’s poetry out of spite.

I believe that through deeply understanding the original coping strategies and using awareness to hold a space for the ‘child of history’ we can begin to get hold of the reigns again. However, it does take time and it’s a long journey into the self.  This is not a matter that can be ‘cured’ either, it cannot be fixed by a 40 day practice, positive thinking or a few powerful Kriya’s. Although yoga and meditation is a wonderful tool to begin to create more awareness, short term fixes won’t work here, this is a long term relationship which must be forged and attended to every moment through awareness and self kindness, engaging with each situation and relationship with an open heart and an intention to stay open with trust and courage, which is in fact, what I believe true yoga to be.

The greatest and most important problems of life are all fundamentally insoluble. They can never be solved but only outgrown.

~Carl Jung.

Sat nam,
Elaine 'Akal Dev'
http://www.blissfulmind.co.uk

I had a dream the other day. I was back at my parents’ old house in a small room that we used to call the “library”, because the walls were covered with shelves full of books. I was about to teach a yoga class in that room. People had already spread out their yoga mats ready for practice. The interesting thing was that Yogi Bhajan was also in the room. I have never had a dream about him and I never met him while he was alive, so this is a very special dream to me. When I entered the room, there was a person standing in the front leading people to do some kind of very strange movements. I just stood there dumbstruck wanting to say “Hey, who are you and what on earth are you doing?”. But could not bring out a word. I just felt this insecurity creep into my body immobilising me completely. “Maybe that’s how it’s done and I am wrong in thinking that this is weird… Maybe this is in fact great, I am just too ignorant to see it… Maybe I should just follow; I must be wrong… Who am I to know better?” In the end, the insecurity won and I took over and continued with the strange choreography. Suddenly, Yogi Bhajan started to yell at me: “What are you doing? This is not what I taught you!” Then I woke up. I think, he did not just mean that teachers should not alter kriyas (set of exercises), I think what he really was saying to me was that I should not let my insecurity immobilise me, I should not let my fear get into my way. Kundalini yoga teacher or not, in one way or another if we learn to listen carefully to our higher self or whatever you want to call it, we all double as transmitters for teachings. If we are blessed to receive a message (I mean the kind of message that inspires and serves others), it is our duty to deliver it. My biggest learning over the past couple of years was and still is (well, amongst other things) that IF I WAIT UNTIL I FEEL THAT I AM READY, IT IS ALREADY TOO LATE! You get the message, you go for it. You hesitate for a second, you missed it. It does not matter how great an impact that teaching would have had, it does not matter how many people would have benefited from it, if you miss your window of opportunity out of fear, nobody benefits and it will eat you up.

Sat nam!
Ajeetdev Kaur

Once again another year begins and we may find ourselves reflecting on the events of our lives, and the world around us, over the past twelve months. A of lot things can happen in a year; when I began reflecting on my own life over the past year I discovered: there have been some friends getting married; others falling in love; others experiencing broken hearts; babies have been born; friends have died; other friends have started new jobs; some have lost their job; some friends have become sick; others continue to have good health; several people I know have moved home.

What do all these events have in common? They share the fact that all things are impermanent and subject to change and flux. I recently watched again the Martin Scorsese documentary No Direction Home on Bob Dylan. There is a wonderful moment that really moved me when Bob Dylan comments on the view that his music changed and evolved and did not stay fixed. He says

“An artist has got to be careful never really to arrive at a place where he thinks he’s ‘at’ somewhere. You always have to realize that you’re constantly in a state of becoming, you know? And as long as you can stay in that realm you’ll sort of be all right.”

This view of life and the nature of self that Dylan states is, I believe, a very helpful one to hold and is found at the heart of the teachings of Buddhism. Simply stated, nothing in the world around us or ourselves is fixed or solid; there are no things, just process and flux. So as we begin a new year, we may find it helpful to reflect on our ability to change. We don’t have to be Bob Dylan or a famous celebrity to live a creative life and make changes that we can imagine possible. So maybe in this coming year we could try holding lightly to any fixed ideas we may have about ourselves and those around us? We could embrace change and new ways of being, no matter how large or small, and maybe we will experience ourselves in a new way.

‘Everything flows and nothing abides; everything gives way and nothing stays fixed… Cool things become warm, the warm grows cool; the moist dries, the parched becomes moist… It is in changing that things find repose.’ — Heraclitus

I teach dynamic, Yang flowing movement through a combination of circular and spiral patterns as well as Yin style practice, focusing on restorative and deepening meditative practices, I have been practicing Buddhism for over 20 years, When not teaching yoga I also love tea & cake, record shops, and collecting 1960's psychedelic posters.

Contact details:
email: yoga@manjunaga.com
tel: 07914 304402
web: www.manjunaga.com

We are surrounded by noise; at all times noise.  Some noises we intentionally listen to, others pass by in the background.  I’m sitting in a café in Knutsford as I write this, feeling uplifted, in love with this life, this monkey mode of ‘work is play, play is work’. I hear the babble of fellow café dwellers in mid conversation, some deep and intense, meaningful exchanges, light hearted laughter. My ears pick up the chink of crockery as people are served by cheery waitresses. I smile at the banter thrown out from the owner who is cooking in the kitchen. Occasionally I tune into the music softly playing – it evokes both wistfulness and a gentle smile as I laugh at myself (with compassion of course). Love songs I spent my childhood listening to, dreaming of the handsome prince of my future, the love gained and lost and gained again, the heartbreak my future lover would feel if he let me go. Barry Manilow’s regrets for “Mandy”, Percy Sledge soulfully crying, “When a Man Loves A Woman” The Korgis wishful “If I had You” – No wonder my relationship history is pitted with frequent bouts of unrequited love!

Music is powerful, the lyrics wrapped by music are given extra potency touching us deeply, stirring up images and emotions (the best tools for manifestation).  Beat, rhythm, roulades, sound currents sweeping us along on a journey.  Punchy messages carrying even more weight when backed up by rich staccato; rage, ecstasy, grief, joy given turbulent expression with chaotic collaborations; potential for expansive openness and connection facilitated by the removal of barriers which is a natural consequence of being immersed in exquisite melting melodies and mind blowing techno trance.

You may be wondering by now if I have been on a trip of some sort, and yes I have! A call was sent out for one or more Kundalini Yoga teachers to attend and participate in a new venture, “The Audio Farm Festival”.  Although I had never held a yoga session at a music festival before I was compelled to jump at the chance.  I loved the intention set by the organisers for the festival to be transformational in nature. They wished to create an environment in which people could relax, let go, and be open to receiving supportive information, healing, and connection in order to facilitate awareness of personal development and responsible caretaking of the Earth and all of her dwellers.  What emerged was a beautiful harmonious collaboration of DJ’s, artists, musicians, healers, speakers, facilitators, contributors and attendees, with every single person bringing their open hearts, humour and love of life to the party.

Sound and music was very much the heart of the gathering, as such I invited Paul Adams along with his skill and knowledge of the gong and together we delivered the teachings of Yogi Bhajan, and the technology of Kundalini Yoga and the Gong.  We each contributed our little piece of semi-precious metal as did all of those who attended the sessions. We all placed our metal in the fire of transformation, and the result was pure gold.  The energy the participants created by immersing themselves in the process was amazing to witness. Radiance is a powerful word yet doesn’t do justice to glow created in our little marquee.  The focus was very much on the use of The Naad to create an uplifting healing experience; careful choice of music and mantra, the skilful application of the gong, and gentle support to encourage everyone to use their own voice resulted in great potency.  The feedback suggested that the work was done - people had been reconnected to their own sense of energy flow and openness.  What an honour it was to facilitate such a beautiful experience.

My heartfelt thanks to Michael Williams for inviting we yogis along to a wonderful festival, and to his fellow farmers - Andrew Taylor, Stephen Chesters, James Hollowood, Anthony Blake & Dawn Kendal - for making it happen.

As a parent to a teenager I have come to accept that one of my functions in my daughter’s life is to be an alarm clock. I have also come to accept that my cheery morning call of “Good morning angel, time to rise and shine” will be consistently met with a grunt of disapproval, a few groans in classic cave-girl style followed by sharing the next few minutes up to an hour with a primeval version of Lottee until she is actually ready to wake up fully – usually mid-morning whilst at school.  I’m sure this will be a familiar picture to most parents and if we are honest, we know that we too as adults still have our cave-man-don’t-wanna-wake-up moments.

I was reading another blog the other day, it was very inspirational, about this chaps journey to finding ‘the truth’ – after a long search and exploration of many religious/spiritual paths he found the teachings of Jesus and the Cosmic Christ path was the one that finally answered his deeper questions.  I really resonated with a lot of what he said. He spoke of devotion, discipline, purity and the embracement of sacredness in everything, and ultimately of the importance of us waking up to our Divine Human selves. He ended by imparting a sense of great urgency, we have to act now or suffer the consequences of hellish pain, “…we all have to realize is that it is one minute to midnight. We don’t have time to take a less glorious adventure…”  And this is the part that took me into a deeper reflection of my own truth around waking up.

I can imagine a blog such as his speaking loud and clear to those who are already awake, who have already done much of the work we need to do (or allow to be done) and who are refreshed with bright eyes looking at the teacher ready for the next part (mid-morning phase). It’s a very motivational piece of writing for those who are already on the start line. However, many of us are only just rubbing our eyes and stretching – we are coming out of our slumber in a steady organic fashion that allows a gentle awakening into readiness for action. We are each of us on our own journey, and maybe we are all heading the same way, but I feel it is of paramount importance that we find our own way in our own time.  We can take in the road signs and follow clues and cues where appropriate, but I do get an uncomfortable feeling when someone jumps out shouting “This way! This is THE way” and even more so when there’s an added cry of “NOW! You have to do this NOW!”

There is a truth in the urgency, there is a reality in which the “one minute to midnight” analogy is accurate – we are in the midst of a shift in energy, a rise in consciousness, and there is much unrest, discomfort and challenge in the world as the changes take place. Going back to the image of midnight on a clock face, in my reality once we reach midnight, the clock strikes (silently these days) the minute hand rests momentarily, then it moves on to being a minute past midnight… And on it goes. The next cycle begins with such smoothness, no effort required it simply flows IF we allow it to. A picture of the panic of folk believing it is the end of the world just flashed to mind, all that chaos, screeching, shouting – the trauma of it all.  And then the sun rises on the next day, the world hasn’t ended, panic over, and folk are feeling a little bit silly and goofy for believing chicken-little yet again.

My personal belief is if we are forced to wake up before we are ready we will be of little use to anyone including ourselves, wandering around half asleep in a foul mood grunting and snorting at anyone who dares to waft any cheeriness in our direction. If we are led by the nose by a well-meaning enthusiast encouraging us to go the same way as they went because it worked out great for them, we may well miss the experiences that are vital for our own evolution. If we attempt to jump ahead and embrace the Divine Human before learning what it is to be a Human Human we will miss out on the building blocks that create the foundation of compassion, acceptance and empathy which are fundamental if we are ever going to truly be of service to others as they begin to wake up with bleary but willing eyes. I do believe in putting our wisdom and love into action and I see this being done every day by people at every level of life, from the mundane to the sublime, and it all counts. From the great spiritual teachers who go to great lengths in making personal sacrifices so they can impart their knowledge to us; to the grandma who holds her grandchild’s hand and keeps him safe as he crosses the road. No role in life is lesser or greater, the human-human is as needed here as the divine-human.

I am grateful to have read the blog and to have been motivated to really ponder what truth lies at my core right now. My opinion and truth is likely to change as my understanding deepens and develops, but for now I choose to keep the ‘Alarm Clock’ function for the sole use of getting Lottee to school on time; as for spiritual evolution and being in service, I prefer a natural gentle awakening which will occur as surely and organically as the sun rising in the sky. Sat nam ♥

As I sit weeping with the depth of aching grief triggered by watching a short video of a remarkable reunion, I wonder… What is at the core of this grief? My thoughts turn to my little cat Tinks who is now being cared for by friends of mine, I had to say my goodbyes to her following a house move, I cry some more. And I reflect on the intensity of emotion that rises in me when I think of the animals in my life that I formed a bond with, the intensity of the bond. How did I establish such a deep union with these little furry things that don’t speak my language?

Looking at the video again and the answer is so clear. As the guy comes into contact with this beautiful powerful gorilla he approaches with respect, he meets with the gorilla on the gorilla’s terms. Using the appropriate body language he is able to communicate with absolute love, and the love is returned two-fold. The result is a heart-melting moment of deep connection, the fundamental needs of such connection are impossible to miss. Acceptance, trust, open hearted contact, an intimacy of deep deep emotional merger, and less obvious… the vibrational harmony between man’s and gorilla’s energy fields allowing for intuitive and instinctive knowingness.

My thoughts return to little Tinks, I ponder how our relationship developed. I remember sitting with her on my tummy as a kitten and her gazing into my eyes, I gazed back and silently and verbally told her time and time again “you are safe, I love you”. I played with her on her terms, getting down on the floor, rolling and stretching alongside her (which later meant that when I got on the floor to do yoga she would join in!) We played chase and hunted one another, hiding behind furniture and pouncing out. She would also invite me deeper into her world by bringing live mice home for me to play catch with – not that I particularly enjoyed this leisure time activity, especially not at 3am. I would throw hair bands and cable ties for her to catch, we crossed over into the dog realm for this as ‘fetch’ became one of her favourite games. Throughout it all I allowed her to feel safe, never intentionally causing her pain, never shouting aggressively, and always making loving cuddles and contact available, not to mention food.

The point being that to enable these animals to feel safe enough to connect with us, we have to meet them at their level and hold loving intent in our hearts while doing so.

So where was that deeply aching grief welling up from? The core of the pain was the disconnection I often feel with fellow humans. At our cores we all yearn for deep connection, yet our layers of wounding and conditioning holds us at a distance, even (and sometimes especially) from our family members. We are often so concerned with getting it right for others, based on what we think they might want from us mingled with childhood experiences of trial and error, being intermittent ‘good’ children and ‘naughty’ children, that we unintentionally are coming from a place of fear. Fear of rejection, fear of punishment, fear of judgment, of humiliation, of causing or receiving offense, of seeming foolish, arrogant and on and on. Or maybe we don’t sense the fear but instead push outwards from a defensive place, choosing not to connect and fooling ourselves into believing we don’t need to feel unity with fellow humans. Or maybe we have bought into the illusion of ‘survival of the fittest’ and believe we are in competition with everyone around us.

My sense is that it is time to stop, time to tune into what is going on for ourselves, to dig deep and find what our unique patterning is that is preventing deeper connection, and then to nurture ourselves out of it by practicing a new way of being. As we move forward into the new era, one of humanity and service to others, we have to establish better communication, deeper connections, openness of heart, and trustful relationships. The age old truth is that we cannot change another person, but we can change ourselves and choose to relate to others from this place of love, respect, of willingness to meet with the other on their terms, somebody has to go first! I am reminded of a lesson highlighted for me in a beautiful relationship – we had reached stalemate; I was feeling that I couldn’t show the whole of myself to this man without him first demonstrating that he would accept me as I was, I needed to feel safe, secure and held by him. He in turn couldn’t offer that level of acceptance and therefore security without first seeing the whole of who I am. It’s a universal stalemate that occurs between the masculine and feminine, David Deida writes about it in his book ‘Blue Truth’. The relationship didn’t survive but it did propel me into a yearlong journey of looking at my fears around being seen, and how that impacted on others, how distant and disconnected I could feel to others and the pain that the disconnection caused both me and them, and finally what I was denying the world by hiding myself. Amongst other things, I was denying merger, union… Yoga!

So as I sit with the sorrow, recognising the pain of disconnection whilst seeing before me an example of immensely beautiful union, I feel the pain soften and shift. Hope wells up, beyond the hope a deeper belief, the belief is that we do, as humans have the capacity to establish the connection we yearn for. It will take a little practice but we have so many resources to draw upon, including our relationships with the animal kingdom where the potential for deep healing lies. I urge you to watch the video, allow your heart to be touched and melted, and embrace the belief that you and I can and will share loving connection and human union.

I came across this poem the other day, and it deeply touched me. It is a roadmap to harmonious communication. Remember, harmonious communication is not about being free of conflicts. Harmonious communication is civilised communication despite conflict. Who does not know the urge of withdrawing in a conflict situation? The urge to run away, to demonise the other person, and break contact. Unfortunately, that does not solve anything. The problem will resurface, if not with this person than with another person in a new situation. It is not possible to run away. Why not stay then and get to the bottom of it? This poem tells us how. Listen deeply! Listen for the essence, do not only hear the word itself, try to understand what is behind it. Try to understand your reaction to that word, try to understand your need that underlies that reaction. At the same time, listen to the underlying needs of the other person, try to uderstand why they react the way they do. It does not matter whether you think the other person is an insensitive idiot and whether he/she thinks that you are arrogant. Harmonious communication is about rising above our pejudices and judgements and giving each other a chance regardless. Let the soul come through. As tough as it is, this is the only way to harmony and mutual co-existence.

Words Are Windows (or They're Walls)

I feel so sentenced by your words,
I feel so judged and sent away,
Before I go I've got to know,
Is that what you mean to say?

Before I rise to my defense,
Before I speak in hurt or fear,
Before I build that wall of words,
Tell me, did I really hear?

Words are windows, or they're walls,
They sentence us, or set us free.
When I speak and when I hear,
Let the love light shine through me.

There are things I need to say,
Things that mean so much to me,
If my words don't make me clear,
Will you help me to be free?

If I seemed to put you down,
If you felt I didn't care,
Try to listen through my words,
To the feelings that we share.

- Ruth Bebermeyer –

With love and gratitude,
Ajeetdev Kaur