The last two or three weeks I have been at the receiving end of what I perceived as a lot of negative interactions. Just to name a few: rejection, being judged, lack of understanding, humiliation, attempt to discredit me, being lied to… I have been observing my reactions in these situations with great interest. Don’t misunderstand me, it still hurt my feelings and I still had the urge to hide under my duvet and cry. Not that there is anything wrong with hiding under the duvet and crying, but this time I decided to do things differently. Instead, I started to search my memory for situations when I was unkind to others and why I behaved the way I behaved. I discovered a whole range of reasons: feeling insecure; the fear of feeling worthless; fear of the different/unknown; fear of rejection; annoyance that the other person does not share my values, beliefs, opinion, or simply stress and a lack of time just to name a few…

This experience made me realise how easy it is to be insensitive towards the needs of others and take their dignity. At the same time it would take the same amount of energy and effort to leave them their dignity. It all lies in the power of communication. Instead of outright rejection, or inflating the ego to make the other person feel really small and worthless it is possible to acknowledge their needs and still politely decline their request. It is possible to respectfully disagree with an opinion but still offer the other person a safe space to have their opinion. Instead of scolding someone for what one perceives as a stupid question, it is possible to acknowledge that they might have a different background, whereby they don’t possess the same information/knowledge as we do. Just as there is no point in trying to force food into someone’s mouth who is dying of thirst, there is also no point in trying to force a piece of information or experience on someone who is not yet ready to hear it or experience it.

Currently all events seem to lead me back to these two sutras: “The other person is you and if you don’t understand through compassion you will misunderstand the times”.

The fear of feeling worthless is an illusion. Running away from our shadow is first of all useless, because it is attached to us. We can hide from the sun in order not to see our shadow, but we cannot get rid of it. Second, seeing our shadow gives us the opportunity to improve, it is a friend rather than a foe. The only way to rise above our polarities is to acknowledge both our light and shadow.

Yogi Bhajan once said:

“I am not interested in how off the point I am. The question is how soon I can make my point again. I am not interested in how stupid I am. I am interested in how wise I soon can be. I am not interested in how damaged I am, I am interested in how healthy I can be. I am not interested in how wrong I am, I am just interested in how soon I can be right.” © The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan, June 29, 1987

With love and gratitude,

Ajeetdev Kaur

I am a painfully shy person. A nightmare situation for me would be to find myself centre-stage with the spot light on me, and an audience of expectant faces looking in my direction waiting to hear what I have to say… Arrrrrgghhh!! Stage fright, brain freeze, and forget performance anxiety, we are talking performance terror here. For years I have fought this part of me, tried to find ways to heal it. I’ve read Susan Jeffers ‘Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway’, I’ve had hypnotherapy to increase my confidence, been to healers and counsellors to eradicate it, had pep-talks from motivational speakers, everything to remove the irritating hindrance that stops me from stepping up to the mark fully in life… Or does it?

Another aspect of my character is quite the opposite, this aspect dreams of centre stage, has a fantasy of appearing on the top spot of Jonathan Ross’s TV show. This is the part of me that grabs the shyness by the hand and forces her to face students and workshop attendees whether she likes it or not. She is absolutely sure she has the capacity to dazzle the nation with her wit and wisdom – she is a little egocentric, well, ok, she is HUGELY egocentric but I like her and welcome her, yet can’t quite allow her the extent of fame she desires due to the shyness. That damn shy little girl who won’t heal, how annoying she is – or is she?

This year I had a breakthrough. A simple statement made by one lady delivered one of those blissful ‘Ah-ha!’ moments which removed the whole dilemma in seconds. And all she said was “It is your nature to be shy, it is who you are”… Wow!

It is not a wound that needs healing, or a conditioned response to my environment that needs re-educating, and nor is it a liability, block or obstacle. I have since been making friends with this part of me, I now look back in wonder at all the times I have attempted to murder her. This beautiful, sensitive, blushing aspect that serves me by guiding me away from situations that are too harsh, warns me when my ego is getting a little too carried away, and gives me the gentleness and humility to consider my overall needs as well as the needs of others. And far from being weak, this aspect has stayed strong and steady throughout all my attempts to kill her off. She has remained loyal regardless of my disapproval and continued rejection.

In reflecting on this one aspect, the shy-self, I have also recognised many other aspects that may appear to be negative, unwanted parts of myself and realised that each of them are here to serve. Some of them are a part of my nature, some are the results of wounding and conditioning, yet all of them serve my growth either directly or indirectly. Cynical-self, impatient-self, bossy-self, the list goes on, each help me either by containing my energy until it has grown sufficiently in wisdom to be released, or by increasing my wisdom and strength by giving me something to push against, to provoke me and motivate me to deepen my understanding of my own nature. The more we understand our own nature the more we can support others in understanding theirs. The more we can accept ourselves, the whole of ourselves, the more we can accept others, even the irritating parts of others that prickle and scratch at our skins.

It is no good trying to get children to play nicely when they simply do not like each other, and in the same way, we are never going to get warring aspects of ourselves to play nicely if we keep dividing them into groups of ‘acceptable/likable’ and ‘unacceptable/unlikable’. If we tune into those different parts of our nature, and those different layers of wounding, and embrace it all as a Divine gift, a tool that ensures our evolution, then we can resolve the inner conflicts that otherwise arise from trying to get rid of the parts we don’t like in favour of keeping the parts that are easy to accept. One of Yogi Bhajan’s well used quotes is “If we can’t see God in all, we can’t see God at all” and while this is largely used in the context of seeing God in others, it is also useful to remember that we too are reflections of that wonderful Great Spirit – If we can’t see God in every aspect of ourselves, we can’t see God in every aspect of others. If we desire to take part in resolving conflict out in the world then we need to revel in the peace of inner harmony that occurs with deep acceptance of self. Sat nam! <3

Amanda

I like to fix things, it makes me feel good. I like to find a way to fix things when they are broken. I am quite a resourceful and practical woman and I love a challenge. To me the urge to fix is irresistible. My Father is the same, I give all my broken jewellery to him and a few weeks later he proudly hands it over to me fixed.  I give him all my dying plants too and they come back, months later, healthy and fixed. Fine when fixing objects but what about people? I do get caught up in trying to fix them too. The trouble with that is if you try to 'fix' a person you do it with the pretence that they are somehow broken.

 When I was little, My Mother suffered with depression and often took herself off on her own in the house. To me it seemed very simple, she was sad and just needed cheering up and I was the one to do it. One day, I had a brilliant idea; I made her a plate of food and arranged the food to look like a smiley face. I was so pleased with my efforts and it was sure to make her feel better again. I presented it to her with such expectation, and I don't remember what she said about it, I just remember the feeling when my efforts did not have the desired effect. The feeling was that I must not be good enough to fix her. Of course, it was a juvenile philosophy but a powerful one just the same. I can see how it shaped me and my idea of myself in the world. Now I am older and it’s not surprising that:  1. I am a therapist and 2. I find it is easy to drop into the dynamic of being 'the fixer', as indeed anyone who is in the healing profession will know. 'If I can fix others then I am a good enough therapist' is deliciously tempting to fall into. I constantly have to remind myself that it is the strength of the human relationship between therapist and client which heals, not the interventions one uses.

When I have a problem, I want it fixed right away! I want to analyse, understand and fix it all as soon as it happens. I find it very difficult to just sit with something and not ask 'what's the answer?’ It has taken me such a long time to become aware of this and have any kind of patience with myself. I still find myself lost in trying to find the answers most days. For Christmas, my Partner bought me a wonderful book containing letters written by the poet Rainer Maria Rilke. A young aspiring poet named Franz Kappus had written to Rilke for some advice on his poetry, from which began a 6 year correspondence. I was moved deeply by his advice on patience:

"I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." ~Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903

When we feel broken and get caught up in the idea that we need to find the answer and get 'fixed', it is a poignant reminder from Rilke for us just to sit with whatever is unresolved, without needing to know. Just simply sit with the heart as it is, however heavy. By doing this we allow space for the questions without immediately needing answers. Sitting with what is, we can drop the idea that we need to be fixed and come into a sense of ‘I’m ok as I am'. When I remind myself of this I can breathe again, I can start again from a place of acceptance and self-love.  Start each day with 'I'm ok as I am' and breathe deeply.

With love, Elaine Akal Dev.

Yesterday, I went for a walk with my son. He likes to look at animals so I took him to the farm nearby. The chicken and ducks there share a small fenced off area with a pond for the ducks. As we were standing there admiring the animals, a small hen suddenly flew against the fence. I didn’t even see her coming. She might have thought that we have food for her, I don’t know. She bounced back from the fence and fell into the pond. Strangely, she only tried to get out of the water once. After that she literally gave up. She was just floating on the water and did absolutely nothing to survive. There was this passive acceptance on her little face. She was just waiting for her feathers to get soaked and sink. The area was fenced off so I couldn’t reach in to help her. Suddenly, I noticed an old man with a long walking stick. I don’t speak Spanish (this happened on the Island of La Gomera, Spain) so I just pointed towards the hen. He reached in with his stick and ushered her towards the wooden plank laid across the pond for the ducks to walk on. The hen finally got on the plank and just stood there. I thought ok, now she is safe. I continued my walk with my son. When I came back 30 minutes later, the hen was floating on the water just as she did before, only this time she was dead. I was devastated. Should I have stayed longer to make sure she actually gets out of the tank? Could I have prevented her death?

This incident brought up two things in me. First, the question: How much help is enough help? How far can or should one go in helping others? Yogi Bhajan once said: "Touch a person, hold a person and then carry a person. You can't drag anybody. You can't lean on anybody. Carry them, simply and truthfully. And what are the words that dignify the carrying? Can you repeat after me? 'I am with you.' That's all. One line, 'I am with you.'" (Yogi Bhajan, Success and the Spirit). But, where is the line between dragging and carrying? I still don’t have a complete answer to that.

The second thing that touched me was the look I observed on the face of that hen while she was floating on the water. I have seen that look on the faces of humans many times. Sometimes, the pressure or the demands of a certain situation are just too big for us to handle. In those situations some people freak out and become aggressive, hysterical, hyper-active, turn to food, drugs, alcohol, extreme exercising, etc. Others, like that hen, freeze, give up, accept their defeat and wait for death to come. Yogi Bhajan calls this cold depression. It is cold, because we don’t see or feel it. Sometimes not even the people around us see it. We gradually lose the connection to our soul. According to Yogi Bhajan the beginning of the Age of Aquarius will see more and more people affected by cold depression and other stress related deceases.

What to do to handle it with grace and dignity? This blog being related to Kundalini Yoga the obvious answer would be: do some Kundalini Yoga regularly. But what if someone does not want to do Kundalini Yoga? Should they give up and drown like that chicken? Of course NOT!!! If you don’t want to do Kundalini Yoga or any other type of yoga, do some deep breathing exercises, listen to uplifting music, read inspirational books, go for walks in nature, eat healthy food, do whatever exercise makes you happy (don’t overdo it though), dress for your soul... In other words, find things and people who inspire you. People who help you keep up with staying connected to your soul! But DON’T GIVE UP! Chose to RISE UP instead of falling prey or numbing out.

For me personally, Yogi Bhajan’s sutras for the Aquarian Age have been very helpful:

1. Recognize that the other person is you.
2. When the time is on you, start, and the pressure will be off.
3. Vibrate the Cosmos; the Cosmos shall clear the path.
4. There is a way through every block.
5. Understand through compassion or you will misunderstand the times.

To read more about the five sutras click here.
To read more about cold depression click here.

With love and gratitude,
Ajeetdev Kaur

Manchester Awakening is about helping people in the Greater Manchester area to come together and make a positive difference in the world. This could be by doing anything from growing your own food to becoming more conscious in your daily life. From moving your money to a more ethical source, to getting involved with a community project. When people network, they can learn from and inspire each other.

We also aim to raise awareness of many of the problems people are going through at the moment, as well as the solutions. We want to help people find more peace and fulfilment in their life, and show how this is the way to solve issues on a global level too. We do this from a Manchester perspective as this is where we are based.

Suggested topics: Sustainability, Economic/Monetary Systems, Food Systems, Media, Political Systems, Education Systems, Consciousness, Spirituality, Culture.

"At the moment all I can say is I want to spread as much awareness as possible about the big problems the world faces, and the ways we can solve them." Chris, founder of Manchester Awakening http://www.manchesterawakening.org.uk/

To join the Facebook group click here.

"When I say, “Sat Nam Ji,” to you, I am saying, “Truth is your soul.” That is exactly what it means. ~Yogi Bhajan, July 27, 1996





There is always hope beyond the clouds
When dreams are shattered, shards scattered
Puncturing our hearts and minds and bodies
Falling into the illusion that all is lost

What's the point? Why bother? No one knows, no one truly cares!

Truly?
Not so...

It takes this pain, this wreckage and breakage
A long aching discomfort, a red inflamed irritation
It takes this experience of stripping away the falsehoods
For our truth to be revealed

Tearing away the shiney paper, bows and ribbons
To find the treat within, the gift
Discovering our gift so we can play and share

Sharing our gift to bring joy and hope into the world
Sharing our experience of the clouds closing in
The torment that touched us that forced us to win

Being this truth - beyond the clouds the rays of light shine eternal ♥

By Amanda Lyons

Kundalini Yoga as taught by Yogi Bhajan is much more than just physical exercise. On a more abstract level, it is about building a community where people support each other unconditionally. A community where promoting habits are cultivated such as leading a healthy and happy life, breaking old patterns, building authentica relationships, etc. A community, where values such as compassion, fairness, integrity, and mutual coexistence take a central position. Kundalini Yoga is furthermore about selfless service. Selfless service can take up many forms. It can range from picking up garbage on the streets to coming up with strategies to erradicate poverty. However big or small it may appear, every act of selfless service is significant and makes a difference.

In our blog, you will find a series of articles about lifestyle, examples of selfless service, inspiring community projects, books, music, reflections of our teachers, etc. Feel free to comment on anything, to ask questions, or to make suggestions for future articles.

With love and gratitude,
The Kundalini Yoga Manchester Team