I had a dream the other day. I was back at my parents’ old house in a small room that we used to call the “library”, because the walls were covered with shelves full of books. I was about to teach a yoga class in that room. People had already spread out their yoga mats ready for practice. The interesting thing was that Yogi Bhajan was also in the room. I have never had a dream about him and I never met him while he was alive, so this is a very special dream to me. When I entered the room, there was a person standing in the front leading people to do some kind of very strange movements. I just stood there dumbstruck wanting to say “Hey, who are you and what on earth are you doing?”. But could not bring out a word. I just felt this insecurity creep into my body immobilising me completely. “Maybe that’s how it’s done and I am wrong in thinking that this is weird… Maybe this is in fact great, I am just too ignorant to see it… Maybe I should just follow; I must be wrong… Who am I to know better?” In the end, the insecurity won and I took over and continued with the strange choreography. Suddenly, Yogi Bhajan started to yell at me: “What are you doing? This is not what I taught you!” Then I woke up. I think, he did not just mean that teachers should not alter kriyas (set of exercises), I think what he really was saying to me was that I should not let my insecurity immobilise me, I should not let my fear get into my way. Kundalini yoga teacher or not, in one way or another if we learn to listen carefully to our higher self or whatever you want to call it, we all double as transmitters for teachings. If we are blessed to receive a message (I mean the kind of message that inspires and serves others), it is our duty to deliver it. My biggest learning over the past couple of years was and still is (well, amongst other things) that IF I WAIT UNTIL I FEEL THAT I AM READY, IT IS ALREADY TOO LATE! You get the message, you go for it. You hesitate for a second, you missed it. It does not matter how great an impact that teaching would have had, it does not matter how many people would have benefited from it, if you miss your window of opportunity out of fear, nobody benefits and it will eat you up.
Sat nam!
Ajeetdev Kaur
Sat nam!
Ajeetdev Kaur
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