Words Are Windows (or They're Walls)

I came across this poem the other day, and it deeply touched me. It is a roadmap to harmonious communication. Remember, harmonious communication is not about being free of conflicts. Harmonious communication is civilised communication despite conflict. Who does not know the urge of withdrawing in a conflict situation? The urge to run away, to demonise the other person, and break contact. Unfortunately, that does not solve anything. The problem will resurface, if not with this person than with another person in a new situation. It is not possible to run away. Why not stay then and get to the bottom of it? This poem tells us how. Listen deeply! Listen for the essence, do not only hear the word itself, try to understand what is behind it. Try to understand your reaction to that word, try to understand your need that underlies that reaction. At the same time, listen to the underlying needs of the other person, try to uderstand why they react the way they do. It does not matter whether you think the other person is an insensitive idiot and whether he/she thinks that you are arrogant. Harmonious communication is about rising above our pejudices and judgements and giving each other a chance regardless. Let the soul come through. As tough as it is, this is the only way to harmony and mutual co-existence.

Words Are Windows (or They're Walls)

I feel so sentenced by your words,
I feel so judged and sent away,
Before I go I've got to know,
Is that what you mean to say?

Before I rise to my defense,
Before I speak in hurt or fear,
Before I build that wall of words,
Tell me, did I really hear?

Words are windows, or they're walls,
They sentence us, or set us free.
When I speak and when I hear,
Let the love light shine through me.

There are things I need to say,
Things that mean so much to me,
If my words don't make me clear,
Will you help me to be free?

If I seemed to put you down,
If you felt I didn't care,
Try to listen through my words,
To the feelings that we share.

- Ruth Bebermeyer –

With love and gratitude,
Ajeetdev Kaur

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